Chocolate Brown Eyes
by LittleMissAnya
Summary: Sean's chocolate brown eyes had always been Alex's favorite thing. Salex. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**-Disclaimer:** Besides this story, I own nothing. I do not own Nikita or it's amazing characters ( because if I did, Sean would still be alive and there would be lots of hot Salex scenes). They belong to the CW and the writers. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

**-Rating:**K as this is supposed to be a cute, sentimental story. I must warn you in advance, the ending is a cliché. And very cheesy, but I guess we all need a little bit of that right now.

**-Acknowledgments: **This story follows the canon storyline on the show up until Sean's death, and it goes AU from there.

**-A/N:** Please comment, I value feedback very much. Critiques are always welcome too, but in that case please be gentle.

**-A/N(2):** I still believe the world needs _more_ Salex. And due to recent events involving a certain Navy Seal we all love, I'd say the world is in desperate need of lots of Salex.

* * *

It was true.

His eyes hadn't always been warm and kind towards her. But back then, hers hadn't been either.

When they first met, both their gazes were suspicious and slightly annoyed at each other. His deep brown eyes used to burn with irritation whenever they met her sparkling blue ones, both clouded with distrust and, to their astonishment, attraction – as they would eventually find out a little ways down the road.

'_The best ones always start this way_' Nikita had mocked her once, as soon as they started dating.

Though in the beginning; before their relationship became an _actual _relationship, that is; they were constantly at each other's throats.

But as they started working together more often she started noticing how his eyes - once cold and suspicious - started to soften, and his true personality began to show.

There was a small twinkle of sarcasm on his eyes every once in a while, and his witty comments made her smile in more than one occasion.

It was silly and unnecessary and funny, and it felt _natural._

They had grown accustomed to each other's company and they started to enjoy spending so much time together, even if it was at a mission.

She couldn't quite tell at which point he started to care about her in more ways than just as his partner.

But his overprotectiveness of her and the concern on his eyes whenever he looked at her were undeniable.

Slowly, he broke through all the walls she'd built, one by one; until she couldn't deny it anymore. Or resist his charms.

It did scare her at first, when he looked at her with such loving eyes. She had never experienced that devotion before in her life and that level of love and adoration was somehow foreign to her.

To Alex, his feelings for her were almost as overwhelming as her own feelings for him.

There were indeed a few ups and downs before she was able to admit her feelings for him, and by the time they officially became a couple, those feelings only grew stronger.

By then, however, she wasn't as terrified of what she felt anymore. And every time he looked at her with those warm, caring eyes, she felt happy and safe and _loved._

She loved waking up to those eyes.

.-

_-Are you watching me sleep? – She questioned softly, not opening her eyes._

_-No- he answered simply, and she could hear the smile in his words._

_Alex felt his warm lips kissing her shoulder and a smile of her own spread on her lips._ _Slowly opening her eyes, she sighed contently. _

_Glancing side-ways to the alarm clock, however, she closed them again._

_-It's too early – she half stated, half complained – even for us._

_He chuckled._

_-I'm a creature of habit, what can I say – his arms encircled her waist and pulled her naked body closer to his._

_Her eyes fluttered open once more and Alex turned around in the cradle of his arms, fully facing him._

_-Hi – he whispered, his brown eyes twinkling._

_-Good morning – she leaned in to kiss him._

_He smiled into her lips, his hand moving to stroke her hair back as he deepened the kiss._

_He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers._

_-Why you up so early?- she questioned – it's our day off._

_-Navy training will do this to you – he explained, his hand still playing with her hair – but you're right, it is too early to be up on our day off. Go back to sleep and we can go out for breakfast later._

_Alex pulled away from him just a bit; she didn't wanna break the contact of his warm body against hers._

_-For how long did you watch me sleep? – she inquired, arching an eyebrow. The small smirk on her lips let him know she wasn't mad at him for doing it; just slightly amused. _

_He smiled bashfully at her._

_-Not much. You looked peaceful in your sleep – he smiled and kissed her lips softly. _

_It amazed him that even in her sleep, she looked so beautiful. She didn't even have to try, she was just simply beautiful. _

_She gave him a shy smile and moved to lay her head down on his broad chest. _

_-My sleep wasn't always this peaceful, you know. Quite the contrary, actually – she said quietly – But I guess…having you around calms me down – she admitted._

_Sean's arms tightened around her, and she nestled closer to him, nuzzling his neck. _

_-Hey- he said gently, and she looked up at him. Sean smiled, his chocolate brown eyes filled with love and tenderness – I love you._

_And that took her breath away._

_.-_

She sighed heavily at the memory and her hands closed tightly around her glass.

-I don't think I'll ever forget his eyes - she gulped down her drink - those beautiful, chocolate brown eyes - she sighed again.

-You really do miss him, don't you? - The elderly man behind the counter asked sympathetically, after listening to the young girl talk about her loved one for over half an hour.

- Every single day - she gave him a sad smile, her eyes filling with tears - He was a soldier. Brave, strong and honorable. He was the best man I ever knew - a tear threatened to fall from her big blue eyes - and I never told him. I never told him just how much I loved him, not once.

-Hey there, darling - the man held her gaze - I bet he knew - he said truthfully - I can see it by the way you talk about him and I can see it in your eyes. He could see it too. He knew it, believe me.

A single tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Alex gulped down the rest of her drink.

-Hey slow it down, love. You'll make yourself sick- he advised gently.

She waved a hand dismissively.

-I'll be fine -she sighed.

-Yes, yes you will - he agreed - And I don't mean because of the drink.

But Alex wasn't listening. She had a faraway look on her face

-He was a hero, you know. A true hero - tears graced her eyes once more.

The elderly man smiled.

-Is that what you're gonna tell you child? - His gaze fell down to her stomach.

A smile spread on her lips and one of her hands released the cold milkshake glass and moved protectively to her five-month pregnant belly.

-Yeah - her voice softened - I'll make sure our baby is proud of its father - she gently stroked her small bump.

-I'm sure your soldier would be glad to know his child knows what an honorable man he was - he chuckled.

Alex's smile faded

-He didn't knew about the baby - she rubbed her stomach, as if to soothe both the baby and herself - he never got the chance.

The old man's smiled never faltered, though.

-He knows, darling. Wherever he is, he's watching over both of you. Our loved ones never leave us, not really.

-I like to think so - Alex gave him a small smile.

The man smiled at her again and Alex frowned; just know she realized his smile and his bright blue eyes reminded her of her father.

-Something wrong? – He asked then, slightly concerned.

Alex shook her head

-No, I'm fine - she smiled, glancing at the clock up in the wall behind him - I should go - she reached for her purse but he held his hand up to her.

-On the house - he insisted - You and the little one needed a good chocolate milkshake with extra fudge.

-Thanks - She smiled, and he knew she meant more than just for the milkshake.

Alex got her purse and headed to the door.

-Hey, darling? - he called her up before she could leave.

The young woman turned around to face him.

-I hope your baby has the same chocolate brown eyes than your soldier - he said with a smile.

Alex smiled, her hand placed instinctively over her baby bump.

-I hope so too - she admitted.

* * *

**A/N(3):** I warned you it was cheesy. And I'm not even sorry.

Anya is back, btw.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** For disclaimer, acknowledgments and rating, please see Chapter 1

**A/N(2):** I'm still a firm believer the world needs more Salex.

* * *

The sleepy infant yawned, stretching his little arms and grasping a fistful of his mother's hair.

Alex chuckled and gently released the baby's little fingers from the strands of her hair.

-Yeah, you really like to play with mommy's hair, don't you? - She questioned her son, pulling her hair back and away from the baby's reach.

Baby Sean whined in protest, making his mother smile.

-Yeah you're tired and cranky, I know - she said gently brushing his thin baby hair - go to sleep now, sweetie - she soothed.

The baby yawned again, and despite his drowsiness the little boy tried to keep his eyes open, bringing a goofy smile to Alex's lips as she watched him fight his sleepiness.

The new mother caressed the baby's cheek, softly humming him a lullaby. She kissed his forehead tenderly; it amazed her just how much she loved him.

It took her some time to get used to the idea she was going to be a mother, especially a _single_ mother.

But the nine months of her pregnancy could have never prepared for the overwhelming feeling she got the first time she held her son in her arms. It was one of the most strong, pure feelings she had ever felt towards someone; a level of love and adoration she had never experienced before. She had never cared so deeply for someone like that, and the sensation was consuming.

Alex was often amazed by how much happiness she felt since he came into her life; how he could make her feel needed and complete and fulfilled.

All the fears, doubts and insecurities she might have had while pregnant had completely vanished from her mind the very moment he was born. And now, looking at him sleeping peacefully next to her, she could barely remember what she was so worried about.

She smiled, and when she's back from her thoughts, baby Sean is already asleep and her heart nearly melted when his lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. She eyed his crib, but he was sleeping so comfortably she doesn't have the heart to move him from her bed, so she just lays her head on the pillow, deciding against disturbing his deep slumber.

-Sweet dreams, baby - Alex whispered, snuggling her baby boy before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

She keeps quietly watching him sleep, observing the rise and fall of his chest, marveling at the peaceful feeling she gets when she's around him, and that alone lulls her sleep too.

* * *

_-He really is perfect, isn't he? - Sean's voice echoed in her ears._

_Alex's eyes snapped open as she sat up on the bed, yanked out of her light slumber by his soft voice._

_-It's okay - he smiled, rocking the baby gently - he's still asleep._

_Alex felt the heavy tears pooling in her dark blue eyes at the sight of Sean holding their son._

_-This is a dream- she sighed heavily, closing her eyes and allowing the tears to stream down her face._

_Sean looked down at their son._

_-Isn't he just perfect, though? - he marveled, kissing the baby's forehead gently._

_-He really is – she whispered, her voice thick with tears – but you're not really here, are you? This is just a dream. I dream I wish it was true – Alex's voice trailed off as more tears stained her beautiful face._

_-Don't cry, Alex – Sean gave her a comforting smile – Please, I don't wanna see you cry. Not because of me._

_But Alex was unable to hold back her tears._

_-I just miss you so much – she sobbed, shaking her head – so much._

_Sean smiled again as he gently swayed the baby._

_-I know, babe. I miss you too – his chocolate brown eyes met her bright blue ones – but you've been so strong. _

_She gave him a sad smile, wishing it was really him there with her._

_-I love you - she swallowed back her tears, trying to keep her voice steady – I know I never said it, but I do. I love you. I love you._

_-I know – his smile grew wider – I love you too. Both of you – Sean added, looking down at the sleeping baby again – how do you get anything done with him around? – he questioned with a smile._

_-Well, lately I don't get much done – she laughed, wiping her tears – I just really love being around him. Nikita and I really just take pictures of him all day._

_- I could watch him sleep all day long – Sean commented._

_Alex chuckled_

_-Yeah, you like to watch other people sleep, don't you? – she countered. In the back of her mind she wished he was still with her to watch her sleep like he used to. Or maybe so they could both watch their son sleeping. _

_Her heart ached in her chest at the thought he'd never really meet their son, let alone watch him sleep. She fought a fresh wave of tears and looked up at Sean._

_His signature boyish smile crossed his features._

_-Can you blame me? – he laughed – He's adorable. Can you believe we made this little one?_

_-A almost can't – she looked at the baby sleeping peacefully in his arms – he's the best thing that's ever happened to me since you've been gone._

_-He is a true blessing - he sat by her side on the bed, gently lying the baby down in between them._

_-Indeed, he is – Alex smiled at their baby boy, and then looked back at Sean – and he's all you – she laughed – it's like I'm not even there._

_Sean laughed, taking in the baby's tiny, delicate features._

_-That's not entirely true – he held one of the baby's hands in his – he has your cute nose._

_Alex rolled her eyes in fake annoyance._

_-That's nothing – she insisted – he's all you. And it's almost unfair, I carried him for nine months and he turns out exactly like you._

_They both laughed at her false frustration._

_-I can't complain, though – she said seriously after a few moments – I love that he looks just like you, dimples and all._

_Sean gave her a warm smile._

_-I wish he had you dashing blue eyes, tough – he said, kissing the baby's hand._

_-No! How dare you!? – she felt like punching him in the arm, but refrained from doing so, knowing it was useless – his eyes are my favorite thing._

_-Is that so?- he raised an eyebrow – Why?_

_-His eyes are deep, and warm and loving. Just like his father's – she looked up, her eyes meeting his once more._

_-That's a great answer, miss Udinov – he told her with a smile._

_They remained quiet just watching their son sleeping peacefully._

_-Who gave him the nickname "baby SEAL?" – Sean broke the silence a few minutes later._

_-Birkhoff did – Alex chuckled – while I was still pregnant. Guess after he was born, they thought it fit him, 'cause everyone calls him baby SEAL now – she caressed the baby's cheek gently – I like it. I think it suits him perfectly._

_-I know I'm biased, but I like his name – he smiled warmly at her – thank you for that._

_-You do? Don't you think its corny?_

_He chuckled_

_-No, it's meaningful. I like it._

_Alex smiled widely at him._

_-The moment he was born, when I looked at him for the first time…I knew there was no other name for him – she admitted, suddenly shy._

_-I think it's perfect for him, babe- Sean assured her._

_Oblivious to his parent's conversation, the baby boy yawned lazily, his eyes fluttering open._

_-Hi there – Sean smiled at the little boy, who looked up at his father, his matching chocolate brown eyes sparkling._

_Alex's smile faded, as she watched father and son together, knowing that as soon as she woke up, he'd be just another fragment of her imagination, and neither her nor their son would ever have a moment like this._

_-Hey, babe…- Sean said looking from the baby up to her eyes – don't cry._

_Alex wiped at the new tears she hadn't realized were falling down her cheeks._

_-You're going to be fine, Alex. Both of you are._

_She chocked a sob._

_-How can you say that? How can everything be okay when you're not here?- she questioned in between her tears._

_Sean smiled at her again, gently caressing her cheek and wiping the tears away._

_-Because the best part of me – he looked at their baby and then back at her – it's still with you._

* * *

Alex took a few deep breaths trying to steady her heartbeats. She allowed the tears to fall freely down her face through her still closed eyelids. She didn't want to open her eyes just yet. It had been a while since she'd had such vivid dreams like this last one; they were frequent in the first few months of her pregnancy, but as the months went by they subsided as she came closer to finally meeting her baby.

This was the first time she'd dreamed about him after their son was born, and it was so real she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face.

Alex missed him so much it was painful. She sighed, her heart heavy in her chest.

She was so disconcerted that if it wasn't for her recently acquired maternal instincts, Alex might have never heard that little whimpering sound.

Rolling around on her bed, she instinctively placed a soothing hand on baby's tummy. Feeling the baby calm down under her touch, she smiled at the five minutes or so she'd get before she had to wake up for real.

Despite the sleep deprivation motherhood had inevitably brought her, when the 6-week-old baby whined a few minutes later her eyes fluttered open like if she had a dreamless, full night of sleep and a smile immediately splayed on her lips as looked at the cranky, bundled up baby.

She moved on the bed to lay closer to her son, thankful she had allowed him fall asleep closer to her on the bed rather than on his crib; even though it was placed just across from her bed. She liked to keep him in a close proximity to her as much as she could.

-Hi sweetie – she cooed, caressing his cheek – what's wrong, huh?

At his mother's apparent refusal to hold him straightway, the baby boy pouted and whined again, showing his disapproval with a loud cry.

Alex chuckled and sat up on the bed, flicking the bedside lamp on before gently cradling her son in her arms and kissing his forehead softly.

-You're gonna wake up your aunt and uncle – she whispered, but her warning was lost on the baby who merely grunted in dissatisfaction.

She knew it was just a matter of time until his cries woke up the rest of the house, and that was one of the reasons why she knew they'd have to move soon.

As if on cue, there was a knock on her door.

-Alex? – came Nikita's soft voice.

-We are awake. Come on in – Alex smiled at her friend's concern.

Nikita walked in to the room careful no to startle the baby.

-Is everything okay? – she questioned, sitting by the bed next to Alex.

-Yeah, guess he's just a little cranky – she sighed – sorry he woke you up.

Nikita waved a hand dismissively.

-It's not a problem, you know that – the older woman said, gently caressing the baby's hair.

-But it is, Nikita – Alex insisted – I know we'll have to move soon.

-We've been through this, Alex – Nikita smiled – it's okay. You can stay as long as you want.

Alex smiled back at her.

-I know, and I'm so grateful for that and for everything you've done for me – she said, really meaning it – but we can't live together forever.

-I know – the other woman agreed – but I'm not ready to let the two of you go yet.

Alex chuckled.

-Good. Neither are we – she admitted, looking down at the baby.

Nikita gently stroked the baby's cheek and smiled.

-Why is baby SEAL up at this hour? – she questioned the infant – you can't be hungry already.

Alex smiled at their interaction.

-He just wants some attention, right sweetie? – she kissed the top of his head, and baby Sean gurgled in approval.

Regardless of the ungodly hour, the older woman smiled brightly at his cuteness, her eyes never leaving the baby.

Alex was aware Nikita had this rather strong connection to little Sean; much like the one they had developed through the years. It was heartwarming to see their interaction, as the baby – even in the first few weeks of his life – already seemed to have a huge liking to his aunt.

Alex had teased her once or twice about having a baby of her own, seeing how great she was with Sean, and just how much she liked to have him around, but Nikita never admited out loud her desire to be a mother.

Smiling to herself, Alex wordlessly eased the baby into Nikita's waiting arms, knowing that her surrogate mother was aching to hold him.

Nikita's smile widened when the baby sighed contently in cradle of her arms.

-He is so cute. Can you imagine all the hearts he'll inevitably break when he's older? – she mused, kissing his forehead and inhaling the smell of baby soap.

-Yeah he's trouble, that's for sure – Alex said with a small chuckle.

Nikita gently ran a finger down the baby's forehead and nose, making him giggle.

-Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? – she questioned, her eyes still on Sean.

The younger girl arched an eyebrow.

-You've been crying – she stated simply, finally looking up at her – something the matter?

Alex opened her mouth to deny it but closed it again knowing it was useless; Nikita knew her too well.

-Nothing gets past you, does it? – Alex questioned with a humorless chuckle.

-Nope – Nikita grinned, but became serious soon after, waiting for Alex to elaborate.

The young Russian looked down at her hands, suddenly coy.

-It's Sean – she said, meeting Nikita's eyes.

Nikita's brows furrowed.

-Sean? – she questioned, moving the baby to rest against his chest – is something wrong? – her voice alarmed.

Alex shook her head negatively.

-No, not him – she placed a gentle hand on her son's back – _Sean _– she breathed, her throat tightening into a knot.

-Ohh – Nikita said as realization hit her, and her heart ached for her protégée.

-I dreamed he was here – Alex explained – with me and the baby – Alex felt tears stinging in her eyes and looked away.

-You hadn't dreamed about him in a long time. Not since the baby was born – Nikita recalled.

-Yeah – Alex agreed, not trusting her voice.

Nikita gave her a sympathetic smile when tears stained the girl's cheeks.

- Was it bad? – she pressed gently, aware of how much dreams had affected Alex in the past.

But the young girl shook her head again.

-That's just it – Alex said with a sad, small chuckle – it was not a bad dream. He was just here, holding the baby, talking, laughing. The only bad part is that it was dream – she took a deep breath, wiping her tears – and that I woke up.

Nikita felt a sudden rush of affection and overprotectiveness for Alex, and if it wasn't for the baby in her arms, she would have pulled the girl into a tight hug.

-Alex I know this is hard for you – Nikita tried to keep her voice as soft and gentle as she could – but look how far you've come. You're doing so great – she smiled, looking down at baby Sean.

Alex looked at her son and more tears streamed down her face.

-I just miss him so much, Nikita – she sobbed, her deep blue eyes shining with tears – and especially now... I mean... I have this beautiful baby boy and…Sean is not here with us – she sighed, unable to properly voice her feelings.

Feeling Alex's unspoken request, Nikita gently moved to place baby Sean into her arms, smiling a bit when the girl calmed down considerably at the direct contact with her son.

Nikita placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder, and gently moved to stroke the girl's hair back in a tender, calming gesture.

Alex sighed again, looking at her sensei with sad eyes.

-I know it hurts, Alex – Nikita said gently – believe me, I know. But the best way to honor Sean, is by focusing on yourself and the baby, and on the future you have ahead. Because Sean loved you, and I know that's what he'd want you to do. He'd want you to be happy, because some things – she reached out and softly caressed the baby's tiny hand – happen for a reason.

A small smile spread on Alex's lips as she looked down at baby Sean; she never got tired of looking at him.

-Yeah, I guess you're right about that – she kissed the baby's cheek

-You know - Nikita smiled at her - Somehow, you still have a part of him with you – she kissed the baby's hand.

Alex grinned and Nikita gently wiped her tears away.

-Sean said something like that too – she chuckled – in my dream, you know. Guess he was right as well.

Nikita got up and kissed Alex's hair.

-We are both very smart, then – she winked – you're gonna be okay?

Alex nodded.

-Yeah, we are fine, aren't Sean? – she questioned the little boy, who cooed in response.

Nikita smiled at the mother-son duo.

-Okay then – she walked to the door – I'll be two doors away if you need me. Goodnight.

-Nikita? – Alex called her up before she could close the door, and the ex-agent took a step back to look at the girl – Thank you – she said with a smile.

The older woman just gave her a warm smile before completely closing the door.

Alex sighed, thankful Nikita had been there for her once more.

Since the day she found out she was pregnant, Nikita had supported her, and Alex would be forever grateful to her and Michael. If it wasn't for them, she wasn't sure how she would have made it through those nine months.

Nikita had helped her overcome the prenatal depression that had haunted during the first trimester of her pregnancy; she'd stay up all night if she had to just to make sure Alex had a night free of nightmares - or even dreams - about Sean. She was the one who helped Alex through her mourning and made her see the joy the baby would bring her, regardless of how bad things seemed to be.

It was Michael who had single-handed built her a crib and baby proofed the entire house.

And when the little one surprised them all by arriving three weeks earlier than his due date, it was Nikita who held her hand the whole time in the delivery room, since Katya didn't make it in time.

Alex knew how deeply they cared for her, and just how much they adored the baby.

But she also knew they were out of place in Michael and Nikita's life.

They told her many times she could stay as long as she wished, but Alex knew it wasn't fair to them to have to spend their first year as newlyweds in the company of herself and an infant. However, when Nikita refused to let them move away so early after the baby was born, Alex was more than thankful for their overprotectiveness, as she wasn't ready to start over on her own place just yet.

And although her mother's proposition for them to move to Greece with her was very tempting, a part of her didn't want to leave the States; she felt like staying around would keep her and the baby closer to Sean. She knew she was clinging to every possible memory of him, but she wasn't ready to let go of that.

So she was glad Nikita had vehemently forbidden her from moving to Greece; which later led to a rather bad fight between her sensei and her mother. But the always understanding Katya relented to Alex's wishes, wanting nothing more than what was best for her daughter and grandson.

Alex was pulled out of her thoughts by the small whimpering sound.

-I'm sorry sweetie – she smiled at him, finding the way he wrinkled his forehead adorable – was I ignoring you? – She cooed softly.

The little boy frowned, whining – a little too loudly – for his mother's attention.

-Yeah, I know…I know. I'm sorry baby – she soothed him gently – Shh, it's okay.

Once she gently placed him against her chest, the baby boy relaxed at the direct contact with her skin, and finally satisfied he had his mother's full attention he yawned, his cheek against the bare skin at the top Alex's breast, his litte hands grabbing the soft fabric of her nightgown.

-Such a lazy baby boy – Alex chuckled, relishing on his baby scent.

The little boy looked up at his mother with curious eyes, and when she moved to kiss the tip of his nose, he smiled up at her.

That same boyish smile that never failed in making her smile too.

She touched his soft brown hair, silently wondering why his baby hair hadn't fallen yet like most newborns, but at the same time liking his dark tresses, pulling the thin hair up in a mohawk like she and Nikita used to do when bathing him.

Baby Sean babbled in disapproval of the hairstyle and Alex laughed.

-So cranky – she teased, even though she knew he wouldn't understand her.

But the baby just smiled at her again, showing his cute dimple.

He was adorable.

Alex looked up at the picture of her and Sean by the night stand and smiled. She looked back at her son, staring at her with beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

Kissing the baby's forehead, she smiled brightly.

- You're just like your father – she whispered to her boy.

* * *

**A/N(3):** Isn't baby Sean just the cutest? :)

Anya strikes again.


End file.
